Ahoy, scallywags! If there’s anything I’ve learned as the captain of the most glorious ship to ever sail the seas (The Scattershot… my is she yar), it’s that a captain is only as good as her crew. Thankfully, my first mate (Melvin) and my used-to-be first mate (Monty? Moliere? Montgomery? I can never remember that little scamp’s name) are two of the most capable sea dogs a captain could ever hope to have swabbing her decks… and they are both quite graceful in a canoe, if I do say so myself.
I count on these two fine sailors to keep the Scattershot afloat and on course, while I take care of the more fun side of my job, being the High Trickster of the High Seas! Who has time for rigging and sails when there are laughs to be had? Not this lady! And if it weren’t for my reliable mateys, my precious joking mind would be divided between coming up with the finest hoaxes ever crafted, and keeping the Scattershot from running aground on an inconveniently placed island.
So, Melvin and Morris (that’s it!), consider this a formal recognition of your fine work and incomparable helpfulness. Now get back to work!